Comparison: is it good or bad? Many have been debating this. Not all comparisons are bad, as comparisons can help us evaluate our attitude, characters, and abilities, which can help us change things within our control. But due to the rise of social media, we are getting access to compare ourselves with millions of other people who present themselves in a polished and unrealistic way.
Obsessive-comparison disorder is not a psychological condition. However, constant comparison can lead to mental disturbances. Comparison is the art of making life bitter. Sadly, we are conditioned to compare at a very young age by our parents or other family members. For example, statements like “she is more beautiful than you,” “he gets better grades than you,” and “why can’t you be like him or her?” Hearing these words from our family or others, we make it our mission to look good, score well, and try to change ourselves. Some succeed in their attempts, and most of us fail to change and start to compare with everyone around us. Instead of feeling better, we feel bitter and hateful towards ourselves and others. And instead of being grateful for what we are blessed with, we feel crude, boorish, and callous about everything around us. Comparison can make us forget about things that we have and to cherish them.
Scrolling through social media, wishing our lives were like the photos and videos of other people can consume our thoughts and feelings which affect our mental health.
- Anxiety, intrusive thoughts related to comparison.
- Discontentment & dissatisfied with your life.
- Depression
- Excessive time spent on checking out others and their life through social media.
- Low self-esteem
- Associating your self-worth with other people.
- Comparing can lead to “despair attitude”
- Feeling inadequate
What are the things that you can do to avoid unhealthy comparisons?
Limit your social media time
Set aside some amount of time to spend on social media and find alternative things to do instead of scrolling through it. You can unfollow accounts that make you feel insecure and despair.
Avoid comparing by just seeing the photos or videos of other people
We truly don’t know what is going on in everyone’s life. None of us know what is truly happening behind the scenes, as we all have our own struggles to face.
Avoid the triggers
Triggers can be from anywhere, social media, or even at your own home. Try avoiding the triggers by finding something else to do, for example, sketching, painting, or reading. Be assertive and realistic when you are engaging in conversation with others who compare you with someone.
Self-reflect on your strengths and limitations
First of all, it is essential for us to understand that no one is perfect; all of us have our own flaws and strengths. It is essential to accept this reality. It is easy for people to cover and sugarcoat the flaws and fool anyone. It is important for us to be mindful of reality and focus on our strengths instead of comparing them to the façade that everyone puts on.
Count your blessings
Comparison can diminish our ability to be grateful for the things we have in life. We always have something to be grateful for in life. We need to sit down, think of things that we are blessed with, and be grateful instead of wasting our energy and time thinking about things we don’t have and others have.
Understanding the differences
Not all our lives are the same; each of us has our own story and life. It is important for us to accept reality and differences. Always remember, “No one makes you feel inferior without your consent” (Eleanor Rosevelt).
Celebrate others
Personally, this has helped me overcome unhealthy comparisons. The joy of celebrating, supporting, and contributing to other people’s success can give you an immense amount of joy and happiness in uplifting others lives and making you a better person.
Compete against yourself
When your thoughts become irrational and affect your emotions and behavior, compete and challenge those thoughts.
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