Anger is an emotion characterized by tension and hostility arising from frustration, harm caused by others, or injustice. Anger is expressed to remove the stimuli that are triggering the anger or express the emotion. Anger is a slightly distinct but significant activator of aggression that is intended to cause harm to someone or something. There are two ways to express anger: either constructively or destructively. When anger is expressed destructively, it makes the situation even worse.
Different destructive ways humans express anger:
Displacement
Displacement is when the anger is transferred to someone or something instead of being expressed to someone or something responsible for the cause of the anger. For example, a teacher who is angry with her family may direct her anger at a student who has nothing to do with the situation. The person might end up taking out their anger on innocent victims such as a spouse, parents, children, pets, or friends.
Suppression
Suppression anger is when an individual is hesitant to express their anger and feels it is inappropriate to do so or is afraid of the consequences of expressing it. People saving up their angry feelings can affect their mental and physical health. Suppressing anger can be destructive when the threshold becomes unbearable for the individual, and the person can burst out.
Passive
When a person denies their anger, it can affect them in different ways. Passive aggression can seem innocuous, but it indirectly displays the aggressive motive. Passive aggressors express their anger by procrastinating, resisting, speaking in silence, and acting stubborn. They often let others take control to avoid confrontation.
Depression
One of the major underlying causes of depression is anger, which is internalized, paralyzing the person. The anger is directed towards life, God, or oneself.
Volatile
Volatile anger is when a person explodes in anger. It can occur when the person is constantly annoyed. The anger can potentially become destructive. The person might yell, shout, use bad language, or even physically assault a person around them. This type of anger can destroy relationships and make it difficult for an individual to have normal health relationships.
Anger directed towards self
Expressing anger towards self is associated with shame or guilt. People with low self-esteem or depression often show intense anger towards themselves. The person might indulge in self-destructive behaviour such as alcohol or drug abuse, self harm, negative self talk, etc.
Dos and Don’ts when you are anger
| Dos | Don’ts |
| Recognize when and why you are angry. | Don’t act selfishly or irrationally. |
| Speak about the matter that needs to be addressed or talked about. | Don’t suppress or repress; it will pile up and explode in unexpected ways. |
| Identify your motive and intention behind expressing your anger. Is it to make the situation better or hurt the other person? | Don’t argue with the intention of hurting the other person and claim you are right. |
| Begin your statements with “I” instead of “you.” | Don’t tell the other person what he or she should do. |
| Understand that different people have different perspectives on situations, so try to focus on what is right rather than who is right. | Don’t force your understanding or perspective on the other person. |
| Take time to talk about the matter that needs to be resolved. | Don’t rush and impulsively act in anger. |
| Be mindful of the words and sentences you use while conversing and expressing your anger. | Don’t be quick to blame, label, diagnose, preach, order, moralize, and interrogate. |
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